I first played Fire Emblem: Awakening in, I guess 2015? The game really gripped me from the moment I first made contact with it. My first playthrough, I found Gangrel extremely attractive and intriguing, but since he was the first antagonist, I assumed after his defeat you would never see him again. I actually ended up marrying Stahl on my first playthrough x)! But after I got to the paralogues and found out that not only was he recruitable, but he also had an S support with the player character, my heart was set on marrying him. I actually didn't 100% complete my first playthrough, and in the same month I beat my first file I started a new playthrough, this time waiting to marry Gangrel and actually 100% completing my file.
Lots of reasons! Almost too many to list, but I'll try my best. It was pretty much love at first sight, though, so I was doomed from the start LOL
As I said, I found Gangrel to be extremely attractive, and I still genuinely think he is the most beautiful person I have ever seen. He was a huge jerk though! While still very funny and charismatic, I think if he had just been reduced to his "Mad King" persona I would have forgotten about him fairly quickly. What I found so fascinating about him was his post-recruitment personality. It was really the first time I had seen a character who was previously pretty silly depicted with such severe depression. I've struggled with chronic depression and suicidal ideation most of my life, and suddenly found a representation of it that matched so closely to how I thought and felt. Here was someone who had been this attractive, powerful, charismatic person, now totally beaten into the dirt. Someone cursed to be one of God's cruel jokes, never taken seriously unless they were a threat to others, but free to harm themself. It really did feel like the first time someone was honest about that kind of pain, while also being the first time I had seen someone fall into that kind of depression, instead of starting the story depressed and either climbing out of it or dying.
This was also the first time I was faced with the idea that, when death is not an option for redemption, what happens to a person who hurt hundreds of people? Gangrel wanted to die so badly- maybe partially to redeem himself, because he *was* genuinely remorseful, but (I think) more because it was the easiest way to stop his pain. It felt like nobody on earth would have considered him capable of changing or repenting. It was basically true- the only ones willing to stand by him were Emmeryn and the MU, if they chose to do Gangrel's supports. That really resonated with me, especially that, even when he WAS willing to try and change, that nobody but *two people* were willing to accept him with open arms. Gangrel had nobody on his team, and even if he "deserved" it, who was that vengeance helping? Not anyone who died or suffered as a result of his actions. Turning away someone who tries to become a better person doesn't make the process any easier either.
I also found the way he was so tender towards Morgan and Emmeryn (albeit in his own "tsundere" way) to be very endearing. He wants to care about others so badly! His whole live was mired in violence, and he wanted to believe his heart was dead and that he's not concerned with the lives of others, but even as the tyrant king, he was a class with A rank healing! Staff users can only heal others, and his rank was so high! The fact that he's so vulnerable with m!Robin, despite his hatred of the Sheppards really showed how desperate he was for any kind of human connection. For his whole life, the only people who tried to get close to him wanted something from him, and then to be offered kindness with no strings attached, even after fucking things up royally for the people trying to befriend him... AUGH. He's a soaking wet stray dog of a man, and I love him dearly.
Besides finding him physically attractive and relatable, I loooove his voice. I can't listen to it without cracking a smile. I think the way his face wrinkles up when he gets nervous is very cute 💕 and I love how his gender expression is such a perfect mix of masculine and feminine.
Being in a ficto-relationship is obviously different from being in an irl relationship. I'm assuming you know a little bit about that if you're here. If not, Google is probably your friend. For me, being in a relationship with Gangrel is a big source of self-comfort. I know I can't physically be with him, but the dedication I have to him is like that of a widow. He stays with me always, and although my feelings may fade like the tide, they always come back. Just seeing or smelling things that remind me of him is enough to make me happy. He is with me in my darkest moments, and loving him has helped me to love and care for myself more than anything else ever has. I take care of myself because he would want me to, and because he isn't here to do it himself. He gives me the strength to do difficult things alone. I don't know if I would ever seek out an irl relationship, and while I'm not against the concept of getting into one in the future, for now I'm totally content just being with Gangrel, and I think if he stays as my only serious relationship I would be happy with that! He gives me anything I could want out of a relationship with a 3d relationship :]